The commonly accepted cliche is "home is where the heart is." That couldn't be more true. Throughout my life I have been very lucky. But there has been nothing better than knowing I have two homes. A majority of my life has been spent in Miami. I have friends and family there. But when I fell in love and moved eight hundred miles north to Atlanta I was out in the storm. Now, that's not a bad thing for me. I like rain and I like water and the excitement of new possibilities filled me wiith energy. I spent only two years in Atlanta and in that time i not only found my love, Amber, I also found my second home and my second famiily in the Atlanta Bujinkan.

This weekend has beeen an excellent time. I've learned much and reflected on some good memories. I have also taken time this weekend to live in the moment, absorbing every sound, smell and sight and locking them away in a wrinkle of my brain so I can remember it for tomorrow and all the days after that.

Damn I just don't know what to say other than I have people that love me and I thank God for that feeling. It's the geatest one in the world.

I can't wait to be home but I also can't wait to return here to my other home, my other friends and my other family.

Time and convinience are two reasons why its taken me close to a year to finish reading the Bourne Supremacy. One is I'm always on the move. I've spent much of my life at a desk learning and what I want to do most now is live. I wanted to act and experience because I felt I had none. Of course that wasn't true. I did have experience but because it came to me easier than it did to others I didn't feel jutified with it.

But I digress. Reading is something I haven't really done since college. And writing is another thing thats taken a backseat. In my closet I have a crate of poetry and literery scribbles, mostly bad, but some good. Anywho, lately I'm finding myself just stopping. Whether its to read or write or just breathe. I'm findiing it imporrtant to learn. And yes I've always known you never stop learniing, I agree, but you don't need school or an argument or a new foundation to learn. Learning can be done in ten minutes. Every new connection in your brain is learning. For example, the other day I was watching Pulp Fiction as Uma Therman's character was describing this tv pilot she was in. As she spoke it clicked in my mind that the tv pilot she described was the basic plotline to Kill Bill. Bam - I learned something. And not just another useless fact about Quentin Tarantino. I learned about recursive storytelling. That's what I call it when a story circles itself or references another story with similar elements.

So what's this all have to do with rediscovering the joy of reading? Well I've wanted a Kindle for some time because I've had little room for books or time for libraries in my life lately. Plus, I'm a geek. I need soomething quick and digital. However, I wasn't prepared to invest over $300 in something to read books when I wasn't reading that much anyway. So I do what I usually do when things peak my interest, I research them to death. And what did I find? Ebooks.

No, ebooks are not new and yes I'd heard about them before. But not until recently have I been comfortable with the idea of paying ten dollars for a pdf file. Well, about a week ago I decided to risk it and I haven't looked back. With an ebook, I can read anywhere. I just download the file onto my phone and open Mobi Pocket reader when I want to. I can add bookmarks and notes and read at my leasure. If I have five minutes, I can turn to my phone and read and learn. Ebooks make it easy to read, stop reading and pick up where you left off. And when I learned that lesson, I realized how easy it is to learn. Period. :)

It's amazing what you find on DIgg! :-) Who would have known Robert Ballard was really looking for sunken US subs. I wonder what kind of questions would have been raised if he HADN'T found the Titanic...hhhmmm.

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Titanic search was cover for secret Cold War subs mission

The man who located the wreck of the Titanic has revealed that the discovery was a cover story to camouflage the real mission of inspecting the wrecks of two Cold War nuclear submarines.

When Bob Ballard led a team that pinpointed the wreckage of the liner in 1985 he had already completed his main task of finding out what happened to USS Thresher and USS Scorpion.

Both of the United States Navy vessels sank during the 1960s, killing more than 200 men and giving rise to fears that at least one of them, Scorpion, had been sunk by the USSR.

Dr Ballard, an oceanographer, has admitted that he located and inspected the wrecks for the US Navy in top secret missions before he was allowed to search for the Titanic.

Only once he had used his new underwater robot craft to map the submarine wreck sites was he able to use it to crisscross the North Atlantic seabed to pinpoint the last resting place of the luxury liner. It meant he had only 12 days to find the Titanic.

“I couldn’t tell anybody,” he said. “There was a lot of pressure on me. It was a secret mission. I felt it was a fair exchange for getting a chance to look for the Titanic.

[READ MORE]

Titanic image came from here.

Today is the long-awaited launch of Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto IV. It's a game that has as much controversy as it does innovation. But there will be no controversy talk here. Today's message is strait - Rockstar has some ingenious marketers working for them.

For those unfamiliar with the series, Grand Theft Auto is the original sandbox-style game. That means a player's character can move anywhere about the landscape in front of them. You aren't restricted to one specific area of the city. If you see a building, you can drive to it. You can park in any parking garage. Pedestrians walk the streets and react to your character. It's a all-encompassing world for gamers to play with.

It's here in this virtual world that new advertising opportunities emerge. For example, because this is a virtual city, there are also virtual billboards. Why not have real ads for real companies on them? Crackdown (another sandbox-style game) did this. The streets were littered with real ads displayed on in-game billboards. It's a new take on an old idea. Today, we gloss over ads on the highways but when we're gaming we don't expect to see them. This new media outlet definitely stands out and is a symbol of the kind of out-of-the-box thinking marketers need to use.

And that brings me to Grand Theft Auto IV. A staple of the series has been the in-game radio stations. They play music from real-world bands that are mostly unknown to the general population. Well it's now possible to purchase the music you hear in-game. While playing Grand Theft Auto IV, if your character hears a song you like, you character can send a text message from his phone in the game to the radio station playing the song. All information necessary to purchase a DRM-free copy of the song from Amazon.com is then sent to your Rockstar Social Club account. Neat huh?

I wonder what other interactive opportunities GTA IV will bring. And outside of the GTA universe, what kinds of new ideas will we see develop to merge the digital and the real? There's already Second Live and a host of other massively multiplayer online role playing games. Now mainstream multipayer games are following suite, finding new ways to bring people together in a digital world.

Matrix anyone? :)

Over 700 people in over 200 cars made it out to show their love for Scions at Scion Exposed 5.0 in Orlando. The event welcomed both Scion owners and enthusiasts. “Enthusiast” is a term for those who don’t own Scions but want them desperately (like me). At the event were games, live music, food, contests, prizes and special guests like Troy Sumitomo, owner of the automotive design studio, Five Axis and creator of the Scion FUSE concept vehicle.

Sumitomo also brought along his xA Speedster, a modified Scion xA that can raise its hood and allow the driver to plug in a gaming steering wheel so you can play Xbox 360 racing games from the drivers seat! You can also play on one of two rear-facing monitors that come out of what once was the trunk.

The Scion owners at the event entered various competitions with cash prizes up to $2,500. Door prizes also went out to those attending and included a set of Pirelli tires, first generation Kenstyle body kit for Scion xA or xB, a custom beach cruiser bicycle painted by DuPont Hot Hues, Guitar Hero III for PLAYSTATION®3 (PS3™), an iPod Nano, and a GPS/Navigation system.

The whole deal was hosted by Southeast Toyota Distributors. Their Scion Exposed events in the southeastern U.S. have drawn Scion enthusiasts from as far as Quebec, Canada! Other events present at this year’s Scion Exposed was an Xbox 360 and PS3 gaming competition sponsored by GameStop; paper airplane contest for children; an artist (Preston Farabow) creating a sculpture from Scion parts; and a vintage P-51 Mustang from World War II performing areal acrobatics.

Awesome! :-)

To all my friends:

If you're in the Orlando area the weekend of Saturday, April 19th, drop by the Avion Jet Center for Scion Exposed. Even if you don't own a Scion, come. It'll be an awesome event! There's music and food and prizes and a vintage WWII P-51 Mustang! Oh, and I will be there too. :)

Click here for more information.

And here's a press release with even more information.

Like the title says, this blog has been due for some time. Lately I've been feeling angry - a lot. And while talking with someone the other day I realized my problem...I'm not as tolerant as I used to be. Over the years, I've swallowed many situations that others wouldn't and I did it in the name of tolerance. "People have enough on their minds," I would say to myself. "A situation like this isn't worth making a big deal."

Not true.

All that swallowing has made my soul grow disproportionate. My spirit chafes during conversation, like some overweight glutton walking on Miami Beach at noon in July, sweaty thighs soaking his awkward-fitting jeans. The skin rubbing against the damp, course material is uncomfortable and every step becomes this agonizing lurch forward to a destination that never seems to get closer.

That’s how I feel. Sure, it sounds melodramatic, but who would read a blog if you didn’t try to make it interesting? I feel the same discomfort as that overweight man walking on the beach. Discomfort coming from the knowledge that, like the fat man, I caused the situation I now despise. He ate too much and I forgave too much. I did too many things for other people. What’s wrong with that you might ask? Well, lately I’ve been feeling that I’ve done it so much it’s now become expected of me. I’m taken for granted.

No, people don’t ask me to do things. I do them on my own. Because of that some might say I don’t have the right to gripe. Wrong. Like the American who doesn’t want immigrants in his country but loves the fact he can get his grass cut for $10, you who tell me I don’t have a right to vent can piss off. This comes with the territory.

And others will argue you can’t set expectations for other people. To those people I say this: Without expectations set by others, what reason would we have to set expectations for ourselves in order to better our own lives.

Some things just don’t get done unless someone takes the initiative. Here’s a list I’ve compiled of basic things no one ever wants to do:

• Organize people to do something
• Take the first step in starting a conversation
• Being the one who apologizes
• Admitting when they are wrong
  

I’m sure I can think of more things to say if I really thought about it.

Right now a certain Johnny Cash song comes to mind…“I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back, ‘till things are brighter, I’m the man in black.” Those words seem powerful to me “try to carry off a little darkness on my back.” That’s what I try to do. That’s what’s put me in this situation. I may not wear black to do it, but the idea’s the same. I fight fire with water. I try taking loneliness and dousing it with companionship. Taking anger and smothering it with patience. Wrapping sadness in laughter.

Well, that’s not how I feel now. Today, I’m much less forgiving. We’re all adults and, as such, are accountable for our actions. I’m tired of being someone else’s crutch.

I'm tired of being the one who initiates dialog that leads to reconciliation.

I'm tired of brining people together.

I'm tired of trying to put a smile on someone's face.

I'm tired because I don’t see it making much of a difference.

This blog isn’t to call anyone out. It’s to vent my situation to the world (because I doubt any of the people who need to read this ever will) before I just say, “fuck it all” and become cynical and bitter like 75% of this carbon-encrusted, oxygen-depleting planet.

And to those friends who fall into the other 25% of this world, thank you. To those strangers in that same 25% who feel, have felt, or one day feel the way I am now and remember this blog – you’re not alone.

Probably the most painful thing I realize now is that I will have to accept this as life or surrender to it. I don’t like surrender. It’s the easy way out. Today I am angry, but tomorrow is a new day. I will resent again and I will get angry again and I will curse my own nature again but I will continue to endure because, if I don’t, then who will?

It’s not that I think I can save the world. I just don’t want to add to the emotional pollution. The negative thoughts, the name-calling, the whispers behind people’s backs…

Today I’m tired. And I find comfort in the words of some of my friends who say my absence brings a measure of sadness. It makes me feel like I do make some difference sometimes. But it’s something I savor momentarily for fear of becoming self-absorbed.

I digress. It’s getting late and I need to close this blog out. (I’ve been contemplating it for almost two hours.) To close I’ll quote the late Robert Humphrey:

Wherever I go,
everyone is a little bit safer because I am there.

Wherever I am,
anyone in need has a friend.

Whenever I return home,
everyone is happy I am there.

It's not an easy creed to live by.

It's difficult to understand your parents. Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when I'm old and screaming at my children. What can change someone so much, make them so angry that they live in this world where all they see is what they want to? I don't get it. Maybe I'm too young to get it. What I do know is that at this point in my life I see that manner of being as unnacptable. And today I vow to myself never to become the parent that can't see life through their child's eyes. Maybe I'm beeing foolish and idealistic. Maybe. But if each parent wants a better life for their child then I don't want my child to hear the things I'm having to hear now.

July 18-20, 2008 - Atlanta, Georgia - TAIKAI USA 2008 The Atlanta Bujinkan Dojo announces TaiKai USA 2008!
 
The Atlanta Dojo, America’s original school of Japan’s oldest martial art, invites you to attend a very special training opportunity.   Bujinkan Master Teachers Bud Malmstrom, Moti Nativ, Roy Wilkinson and Sheila Haddad join forces to share their 110 years of combined Bujinkan experience and perspectives on taijutsu.

Location:   TAIKAI USA 2008 will be held at the Hyatt Regency Suites Atlanta NW.   The Hyatt Regency Suites is located at: 2999 Windy Hill Rd in Marietta, Georgia.   You can call them to make your reservation at:   770-956-1234 (International callers dial: +1-770-956-1234), or Click Here to visit their website.   We have negotiated a discounted rate for TaiKai attendees of $99/night!   This is an all-suite hotel, and their regular suite price starts at $199, so this is an excellent deal.   This rate is good for up to 4 persons sharing a suite, and each living room has a couch that folds out into a bed.   Just tell them you’re with TAIKAI USA!
Please Note:   Be sure to make your hotel reservation as soon as you can to get this special rate.   Their cutoff date is June 26th.   After June 26, or once the hotel fills up, they will no longer offer the $99 rate.

Schedule:   TAIKAI USA 2008 will begin on Friday, July 18.   Registration will run from 2:00 to 5:00pm.   Training will start at 5:00pm on Friday and will finish at 8:00pm.   On Saturday and Sunday, training will run from 10:00am until 5:00pm, with a break around lunchtime each day.

Kunoichi Kai!   Saturday, July 19th, will also be the debut of Kunoichi Kai!   Kunoichi Kai is a special training opportunity for women only, and will be led by Sheila Haddad.   This will be a one of a kind ’seminar-within-a seminar’, and will focus specifically on training for women in the Bujinkan, giving us the name ’Kunoichi Kai’.   (What is a kunoichi?   Click Here for more info)

The men will be training on their own on Saturday, instructed by Bud, Moti and Roy, and both groups will rejoin each other to train together on Sunday.   This is the first ever Kunoichi Kai seminar, and it will be a unique training opportunity for the Bujinkan women to receive specialized training of this kind.   Ladies, this seminar will undoubtedly make a difference in your training - Don’t miss it!